10 Ways to Lose a Job Offer, Part 3 (The Receipts Come Due)

You aced the interview. You walked to your car feeling good about yourself. And then the receipts came due.

The reference who remembered you a little differently. The background check that read every line. The salary conversation you fumbled in eleven seconds flat. This is the part of the hiring process nobody warns you about, the stretch after you think the hard part is over, when everything you said quietly gets checked against everything that's true.

This week Lauren covers Ways Five, Six, and Seven, the offer-killers that catch up with you after the interview is done. Listen, then go do the exact opposite.

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 This is a four-part June series on how to lose a job offer in ten ways, taught by someone who spent twelve years on the hiring side watching people do all ten. Grab this week's free download, the Salary Scripts, and book your free thirty-minute consult at careerbloomsolutions.com/free-consultations.

Transcript

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So here's the thing that once I say it out loud, it might keep you up at night if you're out there looking for a job right now or thinking about switching careers. Cause you can do everything right in the interview. You can have a good handshake, ask good questions, have good answers, and you can walk out of that building convinced that the job is yours, and you can still lose it in the parking lot. And not because of anything you said in the room, but because of what you said to the front desk on the way in, because of that line on your resume that doesn't survive a phone call, because of the 11 seconds after they ask. So what are your salary expectations? And your brain leaves your body. So welcome to the receipts, y'all. This is the week that they come due. And hello, hello again. Welcome back to the Career Bloom podcast. I'm Lauren, 12 years on the hiring side of the desk, and I'm spending the next month teaching you how to lose that job offer in 10 ways. So that you, smart and wonderful person that you are, can do the exact opposite of everything I'm saying. So if you're just joining us, here's where we have been. Okay. Part one was before you walked in the application, the ghost recruiter, uh researcher, things like that. It's kind of how you lose it before you've even tried. Part two was once you were in the room, trash talking, oversharing, all that kind of stuff. And today is part three. We've moved past the interview entirely. This is the part that I like to call the receipts because you're past the charm, right? Now comes verification. Now comes the reference call, the background check, the salary conversation, the little human moments you don't think anyone's actually scoring that we absolutely are. And and I don't know how to tell you this either. Everyone is scoring. Like everyone that you talk to on your way to the interview, everybody. So there's three ways we're gonna cover today. Way five, the rude reveal, way six, the embellisher, and way seven, the negotiation fumble, which is the one most of you wrote in about. So we're gonna spend some real time and kind of talking about those salary negotiations today. And because Way 7 is a salary conversation, this week's free download is gonna be a salary script, like word-for-word lines you can kind of steal for the exact moment that they start asking you about money. It's free, it's at CareerBloom Solutions.com under downloadables in the boutique. So let's go ahead and get into it. And I hope you brought your coffee for this one, okay? Because way five is the rude reveal. This is how you lose an offer by being lovely to exactly one person, the hiring manager, and treating everybody else like they're just furniture in the building. And I see it all the time. Let me paint you a picture, okay? You pull in the parking lot and somebody's a little slow backing out. So you honk the horn. You walk in short with the front desk because you're nervous and you read it as busy in there, and you're kind of curt with the person who walks you to the conference room because in your head you're thinking that's just the assistant. I don't really have to take my time, I don't have to be nice. And then the hiring manager comes in and you turn into the most charming person slash version of yourself that ever existed. And I swear some of y'all are two different people, and you don't realize that we're watching you the moment you enter the parking lot. And I have a fun little story for uh watching you before you get to the parking lot that was unintentional. I was hiring for a position one time, I think it was a marketing position, and I had this lady, she was so rude. Like I was in line to get coffee, okay? I was going to get coffee because we all run on caffeine. And I was waiting. There's this light lady in front of me, and she was so rude to the barista. She was like stomping her foot, like the little tap-tap-tap when you think people are taking too long. All sorts of things. She's rude. And at to the point that a manager came out and was kind of like, let's get this a move on, whatever. They made her coffee like three times. She was just an absolute nightmare. And then I got to the office, as it turns out, she was interviewing for a position I was hiring for, but I had already seen her customer service skills, her person, like reality skills. And I didn't want that in my office. I also didn't want her walking around, you know, the world with my name of my company on her shirt with her treating people like that. So you kind of have to make sure that you're the kind of person they want to hire because you're wearing that company brand when you go out. And here's the thing: even if it wasn't me that she was rude in front of, you have to know that the entire building talks to each other. Okay. And what I mean by that is all of it the front desk, the coordinator who scheduled you, the person who refilled your water, the person who walked you to the office. And a lot of times now I see larger companies, they're intentionally asking those people how the candidate was behaving, kind of throughout the entire process. And after you leave, somebody on this team is gonna say, What did everybody think? And every single one of those people gets a vote. And that's something I don't think is talked about enough. I like I said, I see it all the time. They'll go ask the assistant, how nice were they? Did you like them? And so I've watched a strong candidate get sunk by one sentence in a debrief. And it says, Well, this person was like, Yeah, he was kind of short with Maria at the front. Sometimes that's all it takes. That's the whole reason now. You could have been great in the interview, but you were rude to somebody at the company, and they're not like they're not gonna put up with it. Because if you're rude to people when you think it doesn't count, that's exactly it tells us everything we need to know. So here's the framework for way number five. And I want you to kind of write this one down or kind of remember it. Just kind of keep it at the top of mind. The whole building votes, not just the hiring manager, the building. Every single person you interact with on interview day is on the panel. And whether they have an important title or not, they still get part of the vote. The receptionist, the person in the elevator, the candidate who held the door for you, the one that you held the door for, we will ask around. So you need to treat all of them like they're decision makers because honestly, any one of them can be a deciding factor. So your homework for today is before your next interview, I want you to make a quick list of every single person you're gonna touch base with at that company in that day. It could be a parking attendant, front desk, coordinator, anybody kind of walking in around. And then I want you to decide on purpose before you ever leave the house that every single person you interact with on interview day gets your best, not your nervous best, your warm kind of eye contact, I like people kind of best. Because honestly, the offer isn't decided in the room, y'all. It's decided in the hallway after you leave. Now we're gonna jump right into way six, which is called the embellisher. And I want to be gentle here because most people who are embellishing in their job interview aren't necessarily straight up liars. They're scared, they're looking at the job posting, they feel kind of one-notch short, or they maybe want to stretch something just to close the gap. A title that was kind of their title, maybe, or a degree that they basically finished, a salary number that they rounded up, and skills they could learn fast, so they're just gonna say that they already have them. And it works great. Right up until the receipts are due, okay? Because here's what you don't see from the candidate side that we see from the hiring side, okay? Once you're a real contender, the verification machine turns on, references start getting called, background checks start running, degrees get confirmed, and yes, companies do like we can and will confirm your education. We there's a whole system set up for it. So depending on your state, you can also get verified on tops like salary history, job titles, dates, dates of employment get checked, all that kind of stuff. So basically anything you write in your resume, you need to be able to or willing to be able to back it up to some degree. And that's where stretching doesn't really work for everybody. Because the minute one verification fact contradicts something that you said, and it doesn't even have to be a big one, the whole picture of you as a candidate starts to wobble. And the wobbling candidate loses to a clean one every single time. Like if you're a top contender and we really, really liked you, but then we go to verify something and we can't find it or we can't verify it or something happens. I'm gonna pick somebody that had maybe a little bit less experience than you, but everything they wrote down checked out. And let me say this quiet part real loud, okay? Um, we rarely pull an offer because of the gap itself, like because uh whatever the information was. We're pulling it because you lied about it. The missing degree was almost never the deal breaker. I mean, some positions, yes, do require the degree, and then when we look, we're like, you didn't have that. But the lie about the degree always is the problem. Because if you'll fudge this to get in the door, what will you fudge once you're inside the door? And now you have access to our money, our customers, our clients, and you've already lied. So here's kind of framework for way six when we come to like embellishing things. You are allowed, encouraged even, to present your experience in the best honest light, not lying. It's called marketing, and you absolutely should do it. You led a project without a manager title, say, I led the project. That's true. You did the work of a role you didn't have the title for, just describe the work really well. That's still true. You're missing a skill, but you've done in something like adjacent and you know you can learn it quickly. Say, I haven't used that, but here's something similar I've done, and I can learn it really quickly. That's not necessarily bluffing. And it is impressive when people can kind of explain their skills rather than saying they've done it before. Framing survives a reference call. Faking does not. The test is simple. Could the person who actually worked with you nod along to that sentence as you say it? If yes, frame it out loud and proud. If they'd raise an eyebrow and look at you like, that's not what you did while you were here, then you know you're faking and the receipts will eventually find you. So I want you to go pull up your resume and your LinkedIn right now. Or as soon as you've somewhere safe if you're driving. Maybe don't do that right now. And read every line through one filter. If they called my last boss, would this hold up word for word? Anything that wouldn't survive that phone call, you rewrite into something that still sells you, but is still honest. And you'll be shocked how often the honest version is the stronger version anyway. Okay, y'all, and gather round. It's time for your favorite part, okay? It's the horror story of the week. And I know it already shared a little bitty story of like my own experience, but I'm gonna tell you another one because years ago, okay, right? I'm running a search for like a senior role, like a senior, like this person was gonna be important, all right? Strong finalist on paper. We were so excited. Great interview with the panel, said all the right things. Everybody upstairs impressed. We're basically writing the offer in our heads, which I actually was doing kind of doodling on a on a piece of paper. But that same morning, he had been waiting in the lobby and he got a little impatient. And he was sharp with the person at the front desk and dismissive with kind of that like, do you know how long I've been here kind of energy, and treated her like she wasn't really important. But the part he didn't know was the woman at the front desk had been with the company for 15 years. Everybody trusted her read on people. The executives, especially, because she saw the real version, the lobby version, the waiting room version of people. The version candidates really didn't bother performing for or studying for. So when the leader doing the final sign-off walked past her desk and casually just said, Hey, what'd you think of him? She told the truth. Off her conversation was over, just like that. Not because of a rude moment in a vacuum, but because the rude moment told us that the like the day he stopped trying to impress us or when he was caught off guard or when no one was looking, he wasn't gonna treat people the way we wanted him to treat people. And we believed her because she had no reason to lie, and she had 15 years of being right, honestly. So bless his heart. He never knew. Uh, he probably still tells people the company went a different direction, and they sure did, sugar. They did. They went the direction of um someone who wasn't rude to the front desk. And we're gonna jump right into way seven, the negotiation fumble. Now, this one, okay, this one is the one the most asked for is like how to talk about the money thing. Because the offer is basically yours, right? They loved you, then they asked the question. So, what are your salary expectations? And then you fumble it. And here's the four kind of classic fumbles that I see, and a lot of people have done at least one, myself included. So, fumble number one, you just kind of blurt out a number too fast and it's too low because the silence felt kind of awkward, and now you've anchored yourself under what probably what they want to pay and probably what you need. And then fumble two, you lie about what you currently make to justify a bigger jump, which is basically way six that we talked about embellishing, just wearing a different hat, right? Like you're just straight up lying. And a lot of times there are different ways, but we will find out what your last salary was, and if you it was a big lie, it's a big problem. And then there's fumble number three. You accept the very first number they give you on the spot out loud before you even let it land. And you leave money and kind of sometimes a little respect on the table. And fumble four, the one that actually scares people out of negotiating at all. You get greedy or grumpy, you counter like you're owed it, no warmth, no gratitude, treating the offer like an insult. And that's the rare one that can actually cool an employer, not the counter itself, the attitude like on it. It's not that we're mad that you countered, we're just kind of like off put by how you did it, because there is a recipe to the madness. So let me kill the biggest fear right now because I know it's sitting in your chest. A polite professional counter almost never cost you the offer. In 12 years, I can count on one hand the times a normal, respectful negotiation made an employer walk. And every one of them was an attitude problem, not a number problem. Asking in itself isn't rude. Asking is actually expected. In fact, I don't know if a lot of people know this, but on the hiring side of the desk, right? We expect you to ask. So we realistically have like a range. Like we're like, okay, we could pay this position like 60 to 80. So we're gonna ask you what you want, or maybe we are gonna offer a number. And so we offer 70. We left ourselves some wiggle room, like we're used to the negotiation, so you you can use that. The people who don't ask aren't being gracious, you're literally just leaving money on the table. And I do want to mention there are some companies that say this is just our starting wage. I see it a lot in like retail, more starting level, entry-level positions. And to those, a lot of the times they are pretty strict. So, this advice would definitely be more towards you know, you have some experience, you have some negotiation power. So, here's the framework. And this is exactly what my free salary script downloads gonna walk you through like line by line, and it's called the three beat counter. Beat one gratitude. You need to open warm every single time. You should always start it with like they give you the offer beat one, be grateful. Thank you so much. I'm really excited about this. I'm working with a team because remember, you're not begging, you're not preparing for a fight either. Some people are very aggressive. You're a professional who's glad to be here, right? Like this was the whole point of the process. Like you're you're they want a good employee, you want a job. So when they offer to give you that job, be grateful. Oh my gosh, thank you so much. But then we lead into beat two, okay? The number with a reason. You're gonna name a specific figure, not a range, a figure, and you tie it to value, not to your rent, okay? And I'm gonna say that part again: your value as a person, not your personal bills, because those are often not the same thing. So you would say something like, based on my experience with this and that and the scope of this role, I was hoping we could land on this number. You're gonna be specific and calm, and then that will lead you into beat three. Hush your mouth. Shut your yapper. That's what I tell my kids all the time. My group, my uh 14-year-old daughter gets in trouble for yapping at school all the time. All the time. And when I tell her, I say, shut your yapper, okay? And this is the hardest one for some people, but it's the most important. You say your number and your reason, and then you stop talking. Don't fill the silence, don't apologize for the number. Don't immediately walk it back because they made a weird face. Let it sit because whoever speaks first in that silence loses a little ground, and it's not gonna be you. So gratitude number silence. That's the whole game. I have seen so much money won over for the candidate themselves because that's what they did. They said, Oh my gosh, thank you so much. I'm so excited to join this team. I was actually looking at about, you know, 95,000, 95.5. I've been at this for about 12 years. You're looking for only about eight years, so I feel like I should probably sit at the top of your salary range. Um, I'm so excited about the opportunity. Let me know if that aligns. And then shut it. The yapper. And one bonus, because people do forget if they truly cannot move on base salary, the number is not the only negotiation available. There's a signing bonus, maybe extra PTO, a remote or a flex day, a professional development budget, an early review with a built-in raise on the table. So maybe they say, well, we'll review it in a year, but we can't move on the budget. You can say something like, I understand, I'm fine with that entry-level budget, but I would like to revisit it in six months with a guaranteed 5% if I'm meeting all of my goals. You you just want to keep it like a negotiation and very short and sweet. And um, there's gonna be some like exact lines of what different things you can say in that download that's gonna be at career bloomsolutions.com. So before your next offer call, I want you to write out your three beats in advance because the good thing about the three beats, right, is you can practice them. You can study them. You you're gonna have to come up with that number on your own, do some market research and things. So I want you to come up with your gratitude line. Thank you so much. I'm really looking forward to this opportunity. I'm so excited to join your team. It's very basic, people. And then your specific number with a reason, and then practice it, practice it. Oh Lord, I haven't had enough coffee in silence in the mirror until it stops feeling like a script, right? So practice it where it feels natural. Say the number, close your mouth, and then count to 10. That's the repetition that you need to start doing now because it will become muscle memory when it happens, right? So we don't often talk about accepting offers, salaries, things because you know, traditionally people have maybe five to ten jobs their entire life and they're years apart. So it's not exactly like a muscle memory skill that we're practicing, we're practicing, we're practicing. So practice it. There are things you can teach yourself to become muscle memory. And these three beats should be muscle memory. Thank you so much for the opportunity. I'm very excited to join this team. At the current moment, based on market research, based on my years of experience and what you're looking for in this industry, I'm gonna need $85,500 um to move forward. Silence, shut your yapper after that. Okay, and now we turned it into muscle memory. And now it's mailbag time. Every time I say that, I would just like to add a side note for for now. I don't know if y'all ever watched Glue's clues um when he they would like to sing the song about the mail. I can't sing it on here, but I every time I'm like mailbag time, that's what it makes me think of. Anywho's back to uh this. These are real questions from real people. And if you want to submit a question, you can DM me on any of my social media platforms, um, or you can just send me a message through careerbloom solutions.com. Um, and this one says, Lauren, I have finally have an offer after offer after months of searching. It's a little low, but I'm terrified that if I counter, they'll just give it to somebody else. Is it worth the risk? Girl, I'm gonna hold your hand when I say this. First, take a breath. The fear you're describing is the single most common reason people leave money on the table. There is this kind of inherent pressure that comes when somebody goes, Okay, here's the offer for the job. It's like they put all the weight on you as the candidate, right? To be like, okay, well, balls in your court. Hurry up, hurry up. And I want you to know that that's not how it works. That that's how they want you to think and want you to feel like it works, but it doesn't work that way. Okay. So it's okay to take a beat. They picked you already, right? So, like you went to interview, they interviewed other people, they picked you. You're not the runner up, you are who they decided on. So, and hiring is expensive and exhausting, but that could be a whole nother podcast, y'all. They don't want to start over because you politely ask for a little bit more money. All right. If if they don't want to, they will just say no after that. But if you don't know, if you don't ask, you don't know because that's not how it works. So a respectful counter is not a risk to the offer. And if it is, I do want to add a side note, that's a company you don't want to be at. If it's if that company has been around for a number amount of years, like and they are scared of counter offers and they don't know how to handle them, you don't want to work there anyway. It's not worth whatever they number they did come up with. It's a normal step in the process. And frankly, like we're also nervous. Like when we send the it doesn't matter the size company that I've worked for. I've worked for startups as their HR department. I do HR consulting a lot. So I've worked for huge Fortune 500 companies. They're kind of nervous too because they liked you and now they're sending through an offer. And we may have a backup right on the table that we're thinking, well, if this doesn't work out, you know, we'll offer it to this person. But you're still our first choice when we give you the offer. So I want you to hear me good, okay? Um, if you're the one that sent in this question, we're also nervous and hoping that you take the offer. So if you counter, we're thinking, oh, okay. And it's usually never as bad as we think people are going to counter for. So I always think it's gonna be like 30 grand more, and people will ask for like 12 grand more. And then I'm like, oh never mind. So I would say you. Kind of the three beats. Okay. Gratitude, your number, and then a reason, then silence. Okay. Grab the salary script that's on my website for free so you can kind of go over it. And even if they come back and match you halfway, right? So let's say they offered 60 and you're like, I did a little bit of market research. I think I'm worth like 72. And they come back with 65.5. That's still more than if you had just said yes. So the worst thing they can do is say no, not at all. And then you can try to at least negotiate vacation benefits, you medical, whatever else you've got on the table. But for sure counter something. The worst they can do is say no, and you're just right back to the original offer. And I have to give y'all a quick tip of the week. Okay. And it's kind of a receipts tip. So I feel like it fits really well. When I came up with it for this week, because I do try to give some tips and everything, I thought, well, what tip am I going to give? You know, I'm already given a list. And then I thought, you know what? I have the perfect one. So here we go, y'all. I need you to Google yourself before they do. And that sounds crazy. But it's not. So I need you to do it right now, today. I want you to Google your own name the way the hiring manager would. Don't be out any extras. Okay. Just first name, last name, plain name, plus your city, plus maybe an old employer, things like that. Then go look at your public social media as a stranger would. Logged out. So log out of everything, or go on a laptop that's not yours, have a friend look that's not on your friend list, whatever. And then see what it looks like. Because the background check isn't the only one that gets read. Okay. They are looking. And a public post from like a rough season of your life can quietly cost you a job that you've already won. I've seen people pull back offers because they looked and there was something crazy on somebody's uh social media. And you can't always delete the internet. So you need to lock things down, clean up what's public, and stop handing strangers receipts to things that you didn't mean five years ago. Okay. Five minutes today can save you a heartbreak later. And if maybe lately in this very politically charged climate, you've posted some things, right? And then now you're in the process of looking for a job or you've been laid off and you're looking again. Let's just maybe, let's just maybe give it a little come through. Right? Let's give it a little. Do I come off like a legal liability? Does it look like I might get a future company sued? Because honestly, that's what we're looking for. I'm not looking to make sure that your outfits look expensive. I'm not going through to make sure it looks like you're a good boyfriend, bad boyfriend, your hairstyle. I don't care about any of that. What they're looking for is legal liability. Are you posting things that are threats of violence, racism, homophobia? Are you posting things that are too much drama? Like, are you rage-baiting people on purpose, but now you're going to apply to law firm? Like, make it make sense. And you need to pay attention to kind of where you're applying. Because if you're applying to Christian organizations, if you're applying to affiliated organizations, and then you get on your social media and you act like a crazy person, they don't want that association. It's a legal liability. So do everyone a favor, especially you, and comb through that social media and lock that bad boy down. Okay. Lock it down. And yes, we can see mugshots, and no, we're not supposed to use that against you. But again, that's a whole nother podcast. Anyways, let's bring this home. Okay. This week was the receipts. The whole building votes, so be kind to every soul in it. Frame it, don't fake it, because verification will always win. And the three-beat counter, okay? Gratitude, your number, and shush the mouth. Because asking not is not rude. It's expected. And here's what you're gonna do. Okay, you're gonna go read this week's blog. It's gonna talk about the rude reveal, the embellisher, the negotiation fumble. It's up now and it goes deeper than I could hear, um, or it should be up in a couple of minutes. Um, but then grab your free salary scripts uh download. It kind of all comes together in a culmination of you being able to like really study all the different ways. And if you're in the thick of it right now, an offer on the table, a number you're not sure about, a search, you know, things that are happening. I do have a 30-minute free career consult where we just sit and chat. If you go to any of my social media, it's in my link tree, um, or you can book it straight on my website at Caribulum Solutions.com. And we're just gonna sit down and chat. You can ask all the questions you've always wanted to ask HR. If you're looking for a job, you need help with your resume, interview skills, whatever it is. We'll we'll have a chit chat. And you're closer than you think because you're not doing this alone. I started this podcast months ago, months and months ago, and I get messages every single day of people saying that they took things that I said into consideration in a new way. Um, and that was really my only goal when I started this podcast. I just wanted to help one person get a job in this crazy market, and I'm up to over 250 this year. So I am so excited about that. Thank you guys so much for listening, for sharing, all that kind of stuff. And we will be back next Thursday uh for a new episode. But y'all take care of yourselves for now.