10 Ways to Lose a Job Offer, Part 4 (The Close)

You survived the interview. You think the hard part is over. Bless your heart.

The last stretch is where the careful people get sloppy. They list a reference they never warned. They forget their whole life is one Google search away. They go quiet to look cool and accidentally look gone. And the offer that had their name on it goes to someone who simply stayed warm and stayed visible.

This week Lauren closes out the series with Ways Eight, Nine, and Ten, the offer-killers that get you in the final stretch, after the room, right when you think you are safe. Listen, then go do the exact opposite.

New here? This is the last Thursday of a four-part June series on how to lose a job offer in ten ways, taught by someone who spent twelve years on the hiring side watching people do all ten. Grab this week's free download, the Offer Closer Kit, and book your free thirty-minute consult at careerbloomsolutions.com/free-consultations.

Transcript

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Let me tell you about the candidate who lost the job after the interview was already over. I mean she nailed it. She walked in prepared. She had stories ready. She asked smart questions at the end. She sent a thank you note. On my side of the desk, she was the one and I was already writing up her offer. And then I made a reference call. I called her reference. And the manager she listed paused for a second. You know that pause, that little half second of, well, and then the manager said something, and I quote, she was fine. And she was fine. That was it. That was the whole reference. And y'all, fine is not a compliment. That's like when people tell you when you ask your wife if she's okay and she says, I'm fine. Same vibe. Fine is what you say about a gas station sandwich. Fine is the sound of an offer when it quietly walks out the door. See, she didn't lose the job in the room. She lost it in the phone call. And she wasn't even on that phone call because she listed a reference she wasn't actually prepared for us to talk to. And that is exactly what we're talking about today. I want to welcome y'all back to the Career Bloom podcast. We're going to cut the fluff today and get real about your career. And if you don't know me, my name is Lauren Dietz. And for the last several weeks, I've been walking you through the 10 things that you can do to lose the offer. Now, this is the last Thursday of our June series in that theme. So we made it, y'all. Part four, the close. So if you're just now finding us also, like I said, we've been at this all month. So real quick, because you're going to want to go back and listen to the whole thing. So part one was before you even walk in. So we covered like people who submit lazy applications, the ghost researchers, and the two ways you lose the offer before anyone actually meets you. And then part two was once you were in the room. So trash talking your previous employer, oversharing, and the things that you quietly say that end the conversation. And last week was part three. The receipts came due. So the rude reveal, the embellisher, and the negotiation fumble, and stuff that comes up after you kind of think the hard part is done, which brings us to today. We're gonna go through ways eight, nine, and ten. We're in the final stretch. And here's the thing about the final stretch this is where careful people get sloppy. Now you already did all the work. You prepped, you showed up, you said the right things, and somewhere a little voice goes, We made it, we can relax now. And that little voice is about to cost you the entire job because the offer's not yours until it's in writing and you have signed it. Everything between the great interview and signature is still an interview. It's just quieter, and quieter is where people get careless. So today we're gonna cover those three ways that you blow the close: the reference landmine, the digital footprint, and the slow fade. Now, each cut one is gonna come with its own framework that you can actually use. And as always, I'm gonna give you a little bit of homework so that way you can crush your next opportunity. And our free download that I'm gonna offer later today is the offer closer kit, and it's gonna walk you through all of it kind of on paper so you don't have to remember every single thing I said today. And the second this office episode drops, it should be available. So this drops at noon Central Standard Time. Um, and I should have it available just about that time. If not, check back with us in the afternoon. If you're listening past June 25th, 2026, it's already available and it's available at CareerBloom Solutions.com. Okay, so let's dive right into it. Because way number eight is the reference landmind. And here's what most people think a reference check is. They think it's a formality. They think we call the person and say, you know, you know, and they just tell us, yeah, they worked here and they were great. And then we hang up and process the paperwork. A lot of y'all think it's just a little box that we're ticking. But let me tell you what it actually looks like from my side of the desk, the hiring side of the desk. And you may want to grab your little Alani or your little coffee for this one, okay? A reference check is the one moment in the entire hiring process where I get to hear about you from someone who's not trying to hire you. Because you've spent weeks managing your own narrative, right? So I've listened and read your resume, your answers, your thank you note, all of it's you trying to control this narrative. The reference call is the first time I hear the story from someone else. And I'm really not listening for words. I'm listening for the music. I'm listening for how fast they say yes. I'm listening for whether or not they brag about you or they just want to confirm the dates. And I'm listening for the pause because the pause tells me everything. Now, here's where people blow it. They make one of three mistakes, and I've seen all three so many times I can't even count. Mistake one, they list a reference, they never warned. Y'all are not talking to people. They put down a former manager's name and number, and the manager gets a call out of nowhere on a Tuesday in the middle of their busy day about someone who they haven't thought about in eight months, two years, whatever it was. So the answer is rushed. It's vague, it's yeah, she was here, she was fine, sorry, I'm in between meetings. So you didn't get a bad reference necessarily, you got a distracted one. And a distracted reference sounds like a lukewarm one. And then there's mistake two. They list the wrong person. They list the manager with the impressive title instead of the person who actually liked them and saw their work. They're so worried about like the name on the paper that they forget the name on the paper actually has to say something good when that phone rings. And then there's mistake three, and that's where this is a pretty big landmine. They list someone they think is a fan, and that person is quietly not a fan. The coworker who smiled to their face, the manager you had friction, but figured it was professional enough that they would be nice to you. And then I make the call and I hear it. I hear the careful lawyered. I'm not gonna say anything bad, but I'm also not gonna say anything to help you reference. And yes, we get that all the time. And that is a kiss of death. Because if your own chosen reference, you picked them, I didn't, is kind of working themselves around the actual question. What does that tell me? So here's the framework I want you to use. I call it the reference pre-brief. It's three moves, just real quick. Ask, brief, thank. So you're gonna ask to list someone as your reference. Do not assume. Actually, ask and ask for the real answer. Not, would you be a reference for me? Because everybody says that. And it's all it's awkward to say no. I actually do say no to a lot of people, but for a lot of people, it's very awkward to be like, no, thank you. Ask, would you be able to be a strong reference for me? That word strong gives them a like graceful exit. If they hesitate, if they say, I mean, sure, that's your answer and believe them. Thank them and find someone else. Because you want the person who says, absolutely, send me the details I would love to. Then you're gonna move to step two, okay? You're gonna brief them. Once you have your enthusiastic yes, do not leave them guessing. Send them a short message with the job title, the company, and two or three things the role, like the company you're looking to work at, actually cares about. And one specific story that you would love for them to mention if the reference comes a call in, okay? You're not putting words in their mouth, you're just reminding a busy human of the best version of yourself. Because also keep in mind managers manage a lot of different people. And when we go, yeah, you can list this as a reference, and then that person calls. If you if you haven't given us just like a little bit more information, we'll kind of blank about it. So just say something like, hey, if they ask, the thing I'm most proud of from our time working together is when we turned around the onboarding process or or something very specific. Now, when I call, they have a story ready, and a reference with a specific story beats a reference with a vague adjective every single time. And then we're gonna move on to think. After the call, after the offer, win or lose, you thank them. Because references are not one-time tools, they're relationships, and you're gonna need them again in three years, five years, six years, two months. It depends, you know, what you're doing. And you want them to be happy to pick up the phone every time they hear your name. So when you hit them with that, will you be a reference for me? And they go, Yeah, I sure. And then you use them and people start calling them, and then they're kind of giving half happy answers, and then they never hear from you again. It just comes off, I don't, it's not good. It's not good. So here's your homework this week. I want you to text two people you would put down as references. Ask them the real question, the strong reference question, and then listen to how they actually answer. And okay, we're gonna move on a little bit to the horror story of the week because this is slowly becoming all of y'all's favorite thing, okay? This one came in from a listener and it's a reference landmine, so I had to use it this week. She gave me permission, but names are changed, so you know the drill. So our listener, we're gonna call her Megan, was up for a promotion level role at her new company, final candidate, and they told her we just need to check references and we'll be sending an offer. And she was thrilled. She told her family, she mentally spent the raise already. Now, on her reference list, she had put down her current manager, her current manager at a job. She didn't tell anybody she was leaving. Y'all. No. Just no. And she figured, and I understand the logic, right? She figured her manager liked her, and a current manager looks more impressive than an old one, right? Like that's what we tell people. But she never told the manager she was job searching. So when the new company came a call in, her current boss found out, and in that phone call, that employee was he found out in the phone call, right? His employee's halfway out the door from a stranger about a job he didn't know that person even wanted. He gave her a fine reference, technically, he was professional, but the relationship was done. And here's the part that hurts. And then they started to wonder, you know, w and I would start to wonder too, like, do you didn't think this process through? If I now give you important things to do, you didn't think that through. So the offer slowed down after that and then it stopped. So she ended up with no new job and a current boss who knew she wanted to leave. She basically got like the worst of the worst in that situation. And the fix would have been simple. You do not list a current manager unless the manager already knows that you're looking and is on board with that looking. And if your search is confidential, which most are, you say to the hiring company, I would prefer not to involve my current employer unless we're at the offer stage, but I have three strong references ready right now. Other people that you don't currently work for. And this is completely normal, completely professional to say, you know, my current company doesn't know. And it makes you look smart. So, Megan, if you're listening, thank you for sending this in. And I promise the next one's gonna go great because you've clearly learned from this. The rest of your message really showed like you were like, hey, uh this is a problem. So learn from Megan, everybody. Okay, we don't list our current managers unless like the manager is on board. And I don't mean on board as in like you were like, hey, I might look for something else. Have an honest conversation with your manager about why you're leaving. Can they not afford to keep you? They can't give you as many vacation days. If it's something that the manager understands as a human, they're more likely to give you a really good reference because they understand that they can't give you what you need. And we're gonna move right on into way number nine, right? The digital footprint. Let me say the quiet part out loud. We look you up, all of us, every single one of us, every hiring manager, every recruiter, every HR person you've ever interviewed has typed your name into Google. Some of us do it before the interview, some of us do it right before we extend the offer as more of a last gut check, but it happens. And I promise you it happens. And I'm not telling you that to scare you. I'm telling you because most people act like their public internet self and their professional self are two different people, and they've never met. They have met, they meet in the search bar, right? So, like you as a professional, um, you are still the same person who's out there doing crazy things potentially on the internet, and then I Google your name, Mary Smith, or whatever it is, and then there you are popping right up. So you could be a great professional, but I Googled you and now I'm seeing you do crazy things on the internets. So it it here's what trips people up the the majority of the time. It's the old stuff, actually. It it's not usually, now it does happen, but it's usually not the stuff they posted yesterday. It's the post from a different version of their life that they forgot. It's the opinions that they had in four presidential elections ago that they were posting crazy things and threaten people. That the photo that was set to public that they thought was friends only. And don't get me wrong, I get this a lot on my my social media pages. I'm not here to police your personal life. Post your brunch, post your vacation, post your live your life. But what is visible, I can see. Because a stranger making a hiring manager, all like we're as hiring managers, right? We're trying to bring on the best people that are gonna represent our company. And I don't have the context of that video, that picture, that whatever. And I'm not doing necessarily a huge deep dive. So when I get into it and you had a viral video go viral because you were doing something that's highly against our values, right? Then I'm not gonna hire you. Because think about it like this, too. So if I'm gonna hire you to work for my company, I see it as stamping my company logo on your forehead. Because unless you're hiding in a basement in our company, you're interacting with people, whether that be clients, patients, coworkers, different things. So in my head, I'm stamping my logo on your forehead. And then before I do that, I want to know who I'm stamping it on. So, like, what videos are you gonna post? What crazy things are you gonna say that may or may not violate our company values? Like, we we need to stand for something, and I'm not I'm not doing it. So let me just say, you can post what you want, just know that we're seeing the end result of whatever that situation was, the video you actually posted, the photo, whatever. And then let's talk about the handles that y'all use and your emails, right? So we've kind of talked a little bit about social media as far as the actual physical digital footprint, right? But but you also have to look at the other stuff. So, like what is your social media handle? Is it something highly controversial? Is it something crazy? The we also have to talk about the Q email from that you got from high school, the username that made, you know, your username made sense when you were 19, but then you put it on a resume, and now I have to email an offer letter to Fuzzy Sprinkle17. And I it's a small thing, but I have had companies be like, what is going on here? This person has an MBA, a bachelor's degree, all these other things, and I'm emailing Sparkle Princess 79. What is happening out there? And then let's talk about two. So, like you clean up your social media, you make sure you have a professional email. Also, side note for the professional email, I prefer first name dot last name, or first name dot middle initial dot last name. That's so it's just like that's the most professional. If you have a super common name, you can add some other stuff, but let's just keep it professional. But we do also have to talk about the empty space, and that's the one people miss. Sometimes the problem isn't what's there, it's what not it's what's not there, right? So I search your name and I get nothing, or I get someone else who has your name, or I get a LinkedIn that hasn't been touched since flip phones. In a market this competitive, a blank or stale footprint makes me work harder to feel confident about you. And it it I'm trying to close on you, like I'm trying to convince myself to hire you. I also want to bring up that a lot of people are like, well, I don't want to be on social media at all. And you don't necessarily have to be, just pay attention to the job that you're applying to. If you're applying to anything in the creative realm, in the marketing realm, I had a girl apply to be a social media manager at a pretty large company, and she had zero social media footprint. So there was no, like, even not even personal of like her, there was no portfolio website. There was nothing out there showing that she could do any of the work that we wanted to hire her for. Now the person we ended up hiring had a huge social media platform. Like she managed multiple pages, she had a website about how she managed it, she had an online portfolio, and that's what we were hiring for was digital presence. So also pay attention to what you're trying to apply apply to. And here's the framework for kind of fixing it. I call the the search scrub stack. Okay, so first you're gonna search. I want you to open an incognito window. So because when you're logged in, you see a different version. I want you to go incognito, search your full name, search your name plus your city, and then search your email address. Because that sometimes will pull up things your name does not. And I want you to look at the first 10 results. Whatever shows up in your top 10 is what hiring managers see. That's your real footprint, not the one that you think you have in your head because you thought you set it to private or you know whatever it is. Also keep in mind some people will screenshot stuff and share it and tag you in it. And if you have all your stuff set to private and you don't really read social media, you may not ever see it until we do. And then I want you to scrub. Anything you find in that top 10, if it does not match the professional version of you, handle it. Set the old post to private, untag your photos, tighten your privacy settings, update or retire the email address, okay? Now keep in mind that doesn't mean you're erasing yourself. You're just making sure the public version is the version that you would be proud to hand to me as a hiring manager. And then you're gonna stack it. And this is the part that people like to skip, right? So they go over their social media and they search for themselves and then they go, oh no, and then they scrub stuff, and then that's it. Stacking is the most important one because you don't just remove the bad, you have to add the good so it ranks against each other. A complete current LinkedIn. That's probably one of my top services at Career Bloom Solutions, as people will call me and you know, we'll talk and then I will build them a LinkedIn profile. Because you need to have some professional like presence somewhere. Anything that gives that search bar something strong to land on. And LinkedIn is actually great at showing up in Google and SEO and all that kind of stuff. So if you have a pretty solid profile where everything's updated and your profile's complete, um, which is usually what I do for people, um, that will show up way better, I promise you. Because you want the top of your page working for you. And it will settle those little gut checks before they send the offer. And your homework this week, as much as y'all love it, is open that incognito window, search your own name, your own email, and write down your first 10 results, and then just look. You can't fix what you refuse to look at. And I need you to also look at it with an open, unbiased, unjudgmental view. If you were just looking at it as like a company that wants to stay out of trouble, that doesn't want any drama, leaning left or right, I want you to honestly look at it. Now, if you think, well, I'm glad I posted that because I agree with it and everybody I know agrees with it too. Keep in mind that not every single client, patient, whatever of companies may agree with it. So be honest with yourself when it comes to scrubbing your social media. And here it is, y'all. We're gonna lead into the final way. Way number 10, the slow fade. This is the one that breaks my heart for like the most because people who do it are usually doing it on purpose and they think they're being strategic. And I've had people tell me, well, I did that on purpose. No. The slow fade is when you go quiet at the worst possible time. Okay? You had a great interview and then you wait three days to reply to the follow-up because you read somewhere that responding too fast makes you look desperate. The recruiter emails you the schedule to the next step, and you sit on it overnight because you want to seem busy and in demand. Or the big one, you get a verbal offer, and then you go silent while you think about it, and you don't tell anybody, like, oh hey, I'm thinking about that. You're just like, you just disappear, a poof, a Casper, and then we don't know where you went. Here is what you think your silence says. You think when you're silent, it says I'm calm, I'm a hot commodity, I have options. But here's what it's actually saying on my side of the desk, okay? It says I'm no longer interested. Or it says I'm flaky and slow and I don't even know if I want that job. Silence does not read as cool in the in the job market industry. Silence reads as gone on to something else. And the hiring process has momentum, y'all. When you go quiet, the momentum dies. And a recruiter with five of their candidates and a position to fill is not gonna sit around wondering what you're doing. They're just gonna keep moving, specifically with somebody else. So you do not lose the clothes by saying the wrong thing, you lose it by saying nothing. I would rather have somebody be really good at communication and maybe have like one or two things that I'm like, ah, than have somebody that just disappears because I can't hire what's not what's not there, right? So, and if you remember way back in part two, we talked about trash talking, and the frame was like, you know, bridge don't burn from your last job. The slow fate is just a quiet way of burning a bridge, right? You think disappearing is neutral and it's not. Going silent on someone who is about to hand you a job is insulting, and I'm not gonna word it any other way. So here's your framework for that. And it's the perfect note to close this whole series on because the theme this week is the close, and I call it the warm close. It's three moves, right? Reply fast, confirm in writing, close warm. Reply fast, okay? And you all have different definitions of the word fast, I have learned. So anything from a recruiter or hiring manager needs a response within 24 hours, and that's pushing it. Okay, people. I don't care if you don't have a full answer for them yet. You reply within a day to acknowledge. So reply fast. Thank you so much. I've received this, I'll get back to you by Thursday with my decision. Be a grown-up, give us the timeline. That's it. Now you're not unsilent, you're responsive, you've bought yourself time all in one sentence. Needing time to decide is completely normal. Disappearing is what will get you taken out of my list. And then moving on to confirm in writing. When somebody is agreed, like you put it in writing kindly. So after a verbal offer, you send a short. Note. Thank you. I'm so excited. Just make sure I have this right. The offer that for this role at this salary with the start date. Is that correct? Now you're not being difficult. You're being clear and clear like with clarity. And that kind of protects everybody at the clothes. Okay. Half the offer messes I've kind of seen in the last 12 years come from things that were said out loud but never written down. So what I mean by that too, like, no matter really what the offer is, if you have any questions, the time to confirm is not an orientation on your first day. If you have any hesitation, concerns, questions, whatever, it doesn't make you look difficult. And if it does, if they tell you that, that's a red flag for the company. Normal, good HR people are expecting something. Now we know we're pretty good at writing offer letters, right? But we're expecting at least a question or two. Like, you know, start date, whatever it is. So if they happen to be unicorns, they get every information that you needed, you still need to email, you know, kind of confirm anything that you want to say about it. But always confirm in writing for verbal offers. If they go, oh my gosh, we'd love for you to start next Monday at $95,000 a year, whatever it is, and then that they just say it, email them back with the information and say, hey, just to confirm this is what we're looking at, correct? When can I expect a written offer? It's it the communication, I will hire everybody first time when I hear that. And then I want you to close warm, okay? End every single touch of communication with enthusiasm and a clear next step from you. It's not desperate, it's warm. Like I'm really looking forward to this. I'll have you my answer by Friday. People hire people who actually want to be there. So want to be there, like out loud, on the record, and all the way through the close. So your homework and your last homework of this series, actually, for the next week, every email and every message from anyone in a hiring process gets a reply within 24 hours. Set a timer if you need to. Even if the reply is just got it, or you know, train that habit now to answer emails when they come in. And there's no harm in answering it right away, right? Like if you know you have time now and you know you're not gonna have time later, you can answer it. All right. So just make sure we're getting an answer. And that kind of leads us in for the mailbag this week, okay? This question came in on my website and it kind of fits perfectly. Okay. The question was, Lauren, my only good reference is from a job I got laid off from. Is that gonna look bad? Should I even use them? I love this one because like the fear behind it is understandable, right? And but also unnecessary. First, layoffs are not a stain. A layoff is something that happens to you, not something you did, right? And in this market, half the strong candidates I'm just about I talked to have been laid off somewhere in their timeline. Because uh, especially with the amount of startup companies and larger companies and AI and everything else, I've been laid off before. So it's not as as much of a stain as people like to think it is, I guess. And then secondly, this is about your work, not how the job ended, right? A manager had to lay you off for budget reasons. They'll they can still get on the phone and say, I'd hire her back in a heartbeat if I had if I could. And I've actually heard that quite a bit, and that's a phenomenal reference. So the fact that the relationship ended for a reason like outside of your control doesn't weaken what they have to say about your actual work, or it shouldn't. If anything, a former manager who's rooting for you after a layoff is like the most credible thing ever because they have nothing to gain, right? So they have nothing to lose, nothing to gain. They're just giving their honest opinion about how much they want that person to come back. So yeah, use them. But I would suggest you use a pre-brief on them. Ask the strong reference question, send them a job, story you want them to tell, thank them after. Don't kind of just leave it at like will you be a reference? I mean, you still need to guide those people, and y'all keep the questions coming. Um, I love answering as many of them as I can. Okay, and now we're gonna move into the tip of the week. All right. Um, and this ties to the whole digital footprint conversation. I'm gonna put a pretty bow on it for you. Okay. Make yourself clean, a professional email address, like a clean one that you can use for your job search. I even have some people do it for their job search specifically. So, like first name dot, last name dot, you know, jobs or career or whatever, just so they know and it's like completely separate so they can keep it organized. Not the one you made in 2009, not the one with your birth year, especially, or nickname, a clean one. Then go put it at the top of your resume and use it for every application here on out. It costs you five minutes of your time, and it makes every offer letter, recruiter email, reference handoff somewhere. Look, it's just more professional. Okay?

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And that's that's it. Just make sure that you look professional. And I cannot tell you how many times uh have a grown person sitting in my office, and then I look at their email and they're like, oh yeah, I made that in college. And it's like kegstander 69 or something crazy. You just applied to a real big boy job with that. Listen, I could go on and on that. But that's it. That is the ways eight, nine, and ten. And that's the end of this Thursday run series. Reference landmines, scrubbing your footprint. Like, listen, we've gone over a lot. And I want y'all to remember a couple of things. The offer's not yours until you sign it. Everything before the signature is still part of the interview. Just quieter. And if you missed any of it, go back and binge the whole thing. Part one before you walk in, part two, once you're in the room, part three, the receipts came due. And this one, the close. Because that's the entire job search, beginning to end. And it's all the ways you can you lose it. So I need you to pay attention. And like I said, I am gonna work on that free download, the offer closer kit, and put it, you know, a couple different things from this episode and everything that you kind of need to know. And here's what's coming, right? Because we're not done. This Monday, June 29th, I think. We break the Thursday pattern for one special finale, and we're gonna flip the whole thing on its head, okay? All month I've taught you how to lose the offer, like the number one through ten things that you can do. And on Monday, I'm gonna drop a special episode to teach you how to keep one. How to keep an offer. It's gonna be the on the other side of the coin, so you're gonna want to be there for that. Same place, right here on the Career Bloom podcast on Monday. Now, if everything we talked about today made you realize your clothes could use some work, honestly, and I didn't touch on the things that you really wanted to touch on. I do have a free consultation that you can book. Okay, it's 30 minutes. Um, we can sit down and talk about all the issues, and then we can continue to work together to make you, you know, put you where you need to be. And that's CareerBloom Solutions.com, and it's under free consultations. Okay, no charge, no pressure, we're just gonna chat. So until Monday, I'm Lauren Deets, and remember, your career is not gonna bloom by itself or by accident. You have to water it. I'm rooting for y'all. Go get it.